Day 71

I’ve found I’m starting to lose motivation.  I don’t know if it’s because my weight loss has been a bit rocky these past couple weeks or what.  And that makes me feel terrible.  I mean, I have the gumption to do this when things are going well, but when things start to get a bit difficult I flake?  So I think it’s time to go over why I’m doing this.

• I don’t want to be the fat mom that the kids in school make fun of.  I dealt with a lot of “your mom’s so fat” jokes when I was in school, and I don’t want my child(ren) to go through that.
• I want to lose the weight now when it will be easier instead of waiting until my metabolism has slowed any more.
• I want to avoid all the health problems that run in my family.  Diabetes, heart problems, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, cancer, depression, joint problems, the list goes on and on.
• I hate taking my daily vitamin, so I’d really like to take as few pills as possible down the road, thanks.
• I want to feel comfortable in my skin.
• When Matt asks me if I’ll do something, be it going swimming or wearing a skirt, I don’t want to say no because of my weight.
• I don’t want to dread going shopping for clothes.
• When I have children, I want to be a good example for them.
• I want to be comfortable with having the lights on and being on top.  I’ll even take them separately for now.  Fact is, I should be in the moment, not worried if Matt’s grossed out my my fat giggling.
• I want to be able to order what I want in a restaurant and not be worried if the waitress is thinking, “Yeah, that’s the last thing she needs.”
• I want to be able to walk up in front of a room of people and not wonder if people are watching the fat girl.
• I want to be able to tell Matt the next time he asks me how much I weigh.
• I want to avoid miscarriage.  They are more common with overweight people, and they run in my family.
• I want to be happy.
• I want to be healthy.
• I want to really live my life.
• I want to be thin.  If for me that’s being 130 and a size 10, I’ll take it.