Saturday, June 5, 2010

Day 59

So my weigh in wasn’t yesterday, it’s tomorrow.  I could have gone yesterday, but I would have to have someone other than the woman who’s been doing the weigh ins all along present, and they would have to record my weight.  Even though I weigh less than I have in years, I’m still self conscious about not only that number, but how I see myself.  Because even though I’m happy with the progress I’ve made, to me it doesn’t seem like much.  Yes, my stomach looks flatter, but I still look fat.  At least to me.  I keep hoping that losing this weight will be a panacea, but I’m seeing that it won’t be.  But that’s what this journey is about, getting myself healthy, inside and out.

They are starting to take people from our store who got the full time jobs.  Our assistant grocery manager left early this week (she’s the new grocery manager), and her next in command leaves today (he’s the new assistant).  We lose two of our girls from the office next week, one of which is easily replaceable, the other is the one I’m trying to replace.  The third girl we’ll be losing probably won’t leave until the new store actually opens or the week before.  She’s been doing the job she was hired for every time our boss was out for whatever reason (vacation, surgery, etc) for four years.  And our boss is gone at least 5 weeks a year.  Not to mention she pretty much does our boss’ job anyway.

So, to put this in perspective, there are only six people in the entire store who know how to do the back office evening work (I’m one of them).  I’m also the only one of those six who has not been taught how to do the back office morning work.  We are losing two of our girls in the next two weeks, and one of the others has her own job to do and can’t work in the office all the time.  And my boss has yet to train anyone new.  So in two week’s time, she’ll only have two people (herself included) at her disposal on a regular basis who know how to do the morning work.  And she somehow has to cover two shifts, seven days a week, with only three people.  Oh, and by company policy, she’s limited as to how many hours she can give me a week.  And by now you’re asking what the hell this has to do with my weight loss.  One word: STRESS!!!

Everyone of power in our store is going to be stressed over the next two months, which means they’re going to be taking it out on each other, making things worse, then taking it out on us.  Last night was like a little taste of things to come.

Because they’re training all these new people to send them over to the new store, they had a lot of registers open.  If the person doing the floor plan is nice, they spread the tills that need to be changed out over the course of the evening, making the highest concentration between 6 and 7, and maybe one each at 7:30, 8, and 9.  They then leave only three tills out after 9, so the morning person doesn’t have too much work.  This is done this way because the heaviest load of our office work is from 8 on.  And we only have until 9:30 to finish.  Last night?  I had five drawers from 8 on.  And the woman who was working wanted to hold almost all of them until 9.  I wanted to scream.  And cry.  And eat my weight in chocolate.  I didn’t get to leave until almost 10, and that extra half an hour I worked was off the clock.  Which sucks.

I hope I survive the next few weeks with my weight loss in tact.  Wish me luck!

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