Day 66

Last night was just…it was hellish.  I had a bad night, and ended up staying awake until 6 this morning.  When I get really upset I usually eat until I’m sick, stay awake all night brooding, or both.  Last night I was very tempted to binge, I ate an apple and a Weight Watcher’s ice cream bar for about 200 calories.  All in all, not so bad.  But I spent hours just sitting up and watching old reruns of Law and Order: SVU.  Finally, around 3, I did something intelligent.  I opened up my laptop and started writing down my feelings.  Why I was upset, why my feelings were valid, and why it was okay for me to be feeling them.  I typically try to hide and repress what I feel, which I’m sure has never helped my weight issues.  I owned my feelings, put them into the universe, and even though I’m not done writing it yet, I feel much better.  I see this as a great personal growth.

Last night I was at Wal-Mart, and I cut through the stationary isle.  I love pens, journals, the notebooks, all that fun stuff.  I don’t know why.  But yesterday I just wanted to cut through.  I should have known it wouldn’t work like that.  I stopped in my tracks when I spotted a dry erase board with calendar style blocks laid out.  And I wanted it!  For those of you who don’t know, I have a dry erase board in my office where I write the quote of the day.  Matt makes a habit of popping in to read the new quote each day, and I find it motivating to be able to just look up and see it.

The reason I wanted this dry erase board was because I wanted a place where I could plan out my weekly workouts.  I know I’m on a MWF schedule for my C25K training, which I always follow up with 20 minutes of yoga to stretch me out.  But what about the rest of the week.  Which days should I work with my resistance bands?  What day should I relax and take things slow?  And when should I jump up the cardio?  So after a few times of wiping the board clean and starting from scratch, I have a plan.  I’m sticking with my MWF C25K training.  Sundays I’ll walk at least 5 miles, then work with my resistance bands for 20-30 minutes.  Tuesday will be a slower day, and I’ll only do Pilates.  Thursday, I’ll cycle through one of my dancing workout DVDs, then do 20-30 minutes with my bands.  And on Saturday I’ll do one of my Turbo Jam workouts.  Just not this Saturday, I’m too tired.  So, if I stick to the way this is planned out, I’ll be walking 20 miles a week.  At least.  Because I sometimes like to go out for an extra walk.

So Matt weighed in today.  He has maintained his weight.  However, he didn’t really work out at all this week, and he partied with his brother.  So I’m not sure if maintaining is a success or a failure on Fat 2 Fit’s “eat like the skinny person you want to be” thing.  I’m going to pester him into doing his exercises this week and staying away from the booze, and we’ll see what happens next week.  Also, he only has 7-12 pounds left to reach his goal weight (he keeps bouncing back and forth between those five pounds), so that might also have something to do with it.