Day 32

I forgot this morning that I was going to start weighing myself on Sundays for this challenge.  I’ve already eaten and drank about two bottles of water today, so I’ll just weigh myself tomorrow, and next week start doing it on Sundays.

So Matt and I are going to go see my grandmother and step-mom tomorrow (a late Mother’s Day visit), and I’m worried about the food issue.  I haven’t yet had to eat something away from home that I didn’t prepare.  How is it going to look, “Oh, I’m sorry, just give me a second, could you?  I just have to look up the calories of everything so I know what I can eat.  Thanks.  Oh, and I’ll need some measuring cups too, if you have them.”  I’m sure they’ll understand, but still.  At least the visit’s at the beginning of the week, that way if I go over, I have the rest of the week to push myself over it.

So the store I work at is opening a new branch just over the hill from me.  The HR specialist told a few people who called about it that she was hiring from our store first, since we were closest and we had the largest percentage of people who’d been with the company for a while who were interested.  They just posted a few of the positions Wednesday, and I applied for three.  I think I only have a chance of getting maybe one of those, Front End Supervisor.  I pays more than Lead Customer Service Clerk, but I want the LCSC job more.  I hate front end.  True, if I was FES, I wouldn’t be on register much, but I’m not too fond of supervising either.  I either have to stand out front and queue customers, or bag, I can’t do both because I’m too short to see over the registers.  *sigh*  I was talking to one of the guys last night, and we think that our LCSC is going to be leaving the store for one of two jobs.  If she does, than L (my main competition for the LCSC job) would take her job, leaving the position in the new store open.  I’m the next qualified person, and everyone thinks that I’d get it if L wasn’t going for it.

I’m trying not to stress over this, because I know that stressing will just make me retain weight, but it’s sort of hard not to.  I mean, I need full time.  I really don’t want to have to go elsewhere, since I have insurance and benefits already.  Not to mention that I already have four years with the company.  I’d try to get by on the extra time I’d get from everyone being gone (we’re going to lose at least three people from the office alone), but that still wouldn’t be enough.  Part of me wonders if I should drop my insurance so I can have that extra $80 a week, but if I do that, I’m not guaranteed 20 hours a week.  And there are people who are only getting between 8 and 10 hours a week.  Which would screw me even more.

I need to relax.  I need to stop stressing.  I need to just put my applications in, take a deep breath, and admit that it’s out of my hands at that point and there’s nothing more I can do about it.  If I’m meant to get one of the full time jobs, I will.  If not, I won’t.  There’s nothing more I can do about it.